So this week Paul and the guys asked me to blog about baptism. At first I was unsure about what to write. I couldn’t find the words I needed to express the feelings I have. Then all of the sudden it hit me. This is what I came up with —> <— “But there are no words there? You didn’t come up with anything?” Exactly! There are no words great enough to describe the feeling I got when Paul and Jamie lifted me out of the water on April 1st, 2007. To say that it was “a great experience” or “A life changing decision” would be like saying air is pretty good for living. It just isn’t enough!
The best way I can tell you about baptism is by sharing with you, my experience, and my story. So here we go: I had a great, pretty traditional, upbringing in the catholic church. I went to church every Sunday with my family, was baptized as a baby, made my first communion, and was confirmed. Some people may see me coming to Relevant as leaving the catholic church. For me, it wasn’t like that at all. I believe that people should go to a church that they feel satisfies their spiritual hunger to the fullest. Relevant fills me up to the brim, while others may feel that way about other churches, and thats totally great. Coming to Relevant was just switching dinner tables! When I began to think about baptism, I realized that I had so many questions, doubts and fears about this issue.
Questions: “Why should I be baptized again, if I was baptized as a baby?” This one really confused me, even though I had somewhat of a grasp on the answer, I still did not fully understand the concept. I sat down with the staff guys here at church and had a great conversation with them about it. My parents decision to have me baptized as an infant was amazing. If they hadn’t decided to bring me to church every week, I guarantee that I would not be a believer today. By deciding to raise me in a church, they poured the concrete foundation for me to build my spiritual life upon. However, baptizing me as a baby was my parents decision, I wanted it to be my decision. I wanted to be the one to tell God that I loved him. I wanted to be the one to tell everybody that I have a personal relationship with Him, and by deciding on my own to get baptized, I was showing everybody that I could stand by myself on the concrete foundation that my parents poured for me.
Doubts: A lot of people told me that getting baptized changed their lives. I NEVER BELIEVED THEM! I had so much doubt that doing something as silly as getting dunked in water would change my life. I thought, “I have been dunked and swam under water hundreds of times, what would make this time different?” I am going to be really honest, I had this doubt in my head even when I was walking out into the water, thirty seconds before I got baptized. This was an issue that talking to somebody about, would never solve. The only way to believe that it changes you, is to experience it. All I can say is that the feeling of coming up out of the water, and knowing what it means, is indescribable. It instantly killed any and all doubts I had previously had.
Fears: Before I began coming to Relevant I was attending a church that I like to refer to as “old school”. While they preached many truths that were great, they gave me a bad taste in my mouth about baptism. They saw baptism as salvation. I found myself starting to believe that God wouldn’t love me if I did not make the decision to be baptized, even if I had accepted him into my heart. To make matters worse, I had lost a relationship in my life that meant a lot to me, over the issue of not deciding to be baptized in this church. I left the church and decided to find something new, luckily for me I found Relevant, and realized that God did indeed still love me, even if I had not made the decision on my own to be baptized. The fear for me came when the issue of baptism arose. I feared that if I decided to get baptized, I would be conforming to the ideas that the old church put upon me. Here is the difference; Baptism is a celebration of your faith, not a mark of your salvation. You gain eternal life when you give God your heart, and you celebrate that by being baptized.
I want to end with something that is pretty personal to me. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to write this when Paul had asked me to. You see, my family still attends the catholic church back home, and I was always afraid that if I told them I had made the decision to be baptized, that they wouldn’t understand the difference from when I was baptized as a baby and would be upset with me. So I still have not told them. It has been over a year now. I don’t really know if they know or not, but I assume that they do not because the talk has never come up. I didn’t want to write this because I didn’t want to sound hypocritical in saying that baptism is a celebration of your faith. After writing this I’ve decided that I am going to tell my family, and share with them the excitement that I felt on that day, having full confidence that God will help me find the words to share my faith with them. I want to encourage everybody who is thinking about getting baptized to contact either me or one of the staff guys with any questions or doubts that you are having. I hope that my story can help anyone who is questioning, doubtful, and scared of making this decision. Remember…. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6……
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